One Direction

Published June 28th, 2009

Why does the arrow of time only move in one direction? It doesn’t seem fair. No one knows why the world - the universe - works this way. But it does, and we can’t do a damn thing about it.

I’ve known, met, even loved a fair amount of people in my life. I’ve made mistakes and some of them have made their mistakes at my expense. I regret things and I bet some others regret things they’ve done as well. But as much as we’d like to, no matter how hard any of us try - we can’t go back and fix it. I can’t go back and not do things I’ve done - or do things I’ve not done. No one can go back and unsay things. Or say things.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s why there’s so many lonely people out there. They’re just a half-step out of sync from the rest of the world. Maybe we’re almost all just slightly off from the rest of everyone. Part of the magic is finding one other person who’s arrow of time, point for point, overlaps yours. Sometimes close isn’t good enough. Sometimes, I think, maybe that’s what religion is, or even just a shared experience is - it’s a way for multiple people to choose an abstract point and say, “That - that is ours. This is where we are. This is where we’re starting from.” Everyone who agrees on it, is part of the group. Or the pair. Maybe that’s what love at first sight really is - an accident of sharing the exact same slice of time at the exact same speed. And then, that lucky pair can choose, somehow, to move forward through time at the same speed starting from the same spot.

It’s not easy. At least, it hasn’t been for me. I feel rather out of sync of everything right now. Past, present, future - I’m moving through it at my own, seemingly unique, pace. I keep crashing into to someone for a while but then, no matter how hard either of us try - we slip away from each other, on separate arrows of time. Different people. Different lives. Different worlds. Ghosts and phantoms, tangible for only a moment and then, fleetingly, gone again.

Right place at the right time. Luck, in other words. They say you make your own luck - but in my experience, luck makes you. Random chance slaps you in the back of the head like some asshole friend you haven’t seen in a while but know as well as anyone in the world. If you recognize it happening, you turn, stunned and angry, a little scared - but you then suddenly see who it is and you smile. If you are able to recognize Serendipity, kudos to you. Smile. Embrace it. Otherwise you might push it away, not share the moment and be lost once again on a different slipstream.

We all want to love and be loved. Just have to remember that we are all our own separate species, living in different worlds, different times. It’s a miracle any of us ever find what we’re looking for - and yet, it happens every day to someone.

I hope I didn’t miss my day. I hope you haven’t either, if you’re still waiting. Because we can’t go back and check - the arrow only points in one direction.

Category: Personal | Tags: