Whirlwind Day, FoFlympics Tomorrow
Published October 3rd, 2008Thanks to the “little” announcement at work this morning, I’ve been pretty out of sorts all day. There’s not enough details available to me to weigh any options yet - but of course I’m damn near freaking out and re-evaluating pretty much everything. While I don’t necessarily feel “at home” in Burbank, even now, I did feel like things were gradually starting to go in that direction.
The gist of the issue is that my boss is leaving the hospital at the end of March, 2009. Where he is going next is unknown. I have my guesses - according to him they’re “large non-profit research institutions nearby” - so that really narrows it down to just a couple places. But they’re still in negotiations, so thats in the air. Fine. So me?
That’s harder. He said that all of us - and he has a lot of employees under him - would receive offers to work at the new entity. That’s all well and good, but I have good reason to believe that my group is going to undergo a supervisory change, which is a bit scary. I don’t know how it will be reorganized or what direction it would take. I know nothing. So while that doesn’t put my position in jeopardy, it does affect it’s general function. In unknown ways. That’s problem 1.
Next up is wherever we would be physically moving. Sure it will be “in the area” but if you’ve ever been to LA, that’s generally meaningless. No matter what, I get the feeling that it is unlikely to be closer to my apartment. And could very easily be significantly farther away - maybe not in distance, but in commute time. And that’s all that matters. So that’s problem 2.
So once these things get a little clearer, I need to start really thinking about what I want to do. Do I want to go to the new place? If it’s much further, do I abandon Burbank and move, again, somewhere that I don’t know anyone? Do I want to see if the hospital has another place for me? Do I want to abandon this position altogether and find an entirely new job at an entirely new place - and is that even possible?
I don’t have answers to these questions and that always bothers me. I’m not good with change, I’m not good with unknowns. I’m just not. Some people think that’s a fault in me, but I’m not sure it’s good or bad, it just is. I’m a planner. So what.
So I have a lot to think about. What do I want to do, where do I want to go, what am I willing to change, what am I unwilling to consider? I don’t have enough information to make these decsisions. And it makes me very uncomfortable.
Over the past couple years I’ve tried very hard to achieve a balance, an acceptable balance, in the types of things I do and people I know. I try and visit my best, oldest friends and family in OC as often as I reasonably can. I have found ways to get my sports fix with Kickball and Broomball. I’ve struggled and clawed and fought to meet new people through activities both athletic and cerebral. I play D&D with a good group of people I like. I play board games with people I like, though not as much lately. I still haven’t found the right people for everything I like to do, and finding a girlfriend has been glacial at best (and frustrating), but it’s mostly OK. Mostly. But it all centers around here - Burbank. It takes me so long to set up a social network, the thought of breaking out and starting over is literally terrifying. But so is bailing on my job and finding a completely new one. It’s about equally terrifying AND there’s no guarantee I wouldn’t have to move for that too.
Anyway, at least this weekend should be fun. My Monday kickball team is having a sort of decathlon, 3 days of events. First round is tomorrow. The events are 8-Ball, Scrabble, Ping Pong and Flip Cup. I suck at Flip Cup and 8-Ball is essentially a luck game for me. And I’m not very lucky. I don’t expect to do well in those. But I should be able to hold my own in Ping Pong if I can shake off some rust quickly. I hope to win or at least get top 2 or 3 in Scrabble.
Overall though I haven’t played many board games of late, I’ve mostly been dealing with Kickball and D&D. I need to play more soon. I also haven’t gone hiking in forever, and REALLY haven’t dabbled in photography in god knows how long. And that’s frustrating. Out of balance, you see? Haven’t golfed in about a month. I just can’t fit everything I want to in, and I end up feeling out of sorts no matter what.
No comments yet.