V Doesn’t Stand for Victory, but Maybe Vendetta…
Published February 13th, 2007And it sure doesn’t stand for Wednesday either. Tomorrow marks the end of the Extended Holiday Season that I hate spending without a significant other (Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day). And I have been single throughout. Not for lack of trying either. It’s been one of the most frustrating times I’ve ever had.
Some places on the web, that I won’t bother to even link to, have “survival guides for singles” on Valentine’s Day. Most often the advice is “Just pretend it’s any other day” - Thanks. I don’t need a damn survival guide for Wednesdays. So you just self-referenced that to hell. When someone ignores everything going on around them, that’s not being strong and single - that’s being delusional. Denying reality is a delusion. Also, they say “Take yourself out to the bookstore, or a movie” - I hate going to the movies alone, whether it’s Wednesday or any other day, and if I went to the bookstore, it would just be Wednesday. So we’re back to that again. Another tip is “Just be happy for others and be confident in your single self” - OK. Well, I’m quite happy for some of my coupled-up friends. My happiness for them is independent of my own happiness. And I’m as confident in my single self as I can be and still be single. Looking for a significant other is all about what others think of you - so being confident in yourself only goes so far - to find a mate, someone else has to like you. Sorry, I just hate the “Don’t worry what others think” line - it’s great advice if you’re not actually trying to attract others…
The point is, Valentine’s Day is SO built up and SO pervasive, you can’t get away from it. And to be honest, when I’m not single, when I’m coupled, I like Valentine’s Day. Sure, you don’t need a special day to tell someone they’re special - but then again, you don’t need a birthday to celebrate that someone is still alive. But we do anyway. We all like special events for special things. (Perhaps it’s somewhat telling that I dislike birthday having parties for myself. But that’s a whole different post…) So there is no escaping Valentine’s Day, just as there is no escaping any other popular holiday. It’s just a holiday that is extremely polarizing.
In the end, it’s not really a bad holiday. It’s just that some people place too much importance on it. Like anything else that’s meant to be fun, if you raise expectations to ridiculous levels, disappointment is just about the only option. I don’t think Valentine’s Day should be about lavish, “perfect” expressions of love. It should be about celebrating the person you’re with - in a fun way. So not huge bouquets of flowers and expensive jewelry - it should be about just you and that other person doing something that makes both of you laugh. Because that’s why you’re with that person, right? You don’t love them because they give you things (I hope) - it’s because you enjoy their company. If more people realized that, maybe Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be such a big deal. And maybe Hallmark would disappear in a puff of potpourri smelling smoke. I wouldn’t shed a tear (though their Shoebox Greetings cards are usually pretty funny).
So anyway. I will be celebrating Wednesday tomorrow, sadly wishing I was celebrating Valentine’s Day. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I hope those of you out there that are coupled up remember the spirit of the day instead of the materialism - that’s what we have every other day for. Holidays aren’t about remembering what matters - they’re about forgetting what doesn’t.
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